I have been chosen to represent the United States at the 2020 Olympics. I’m letting you know in advance so you can start lining up for autographs. If I win gold, that signature might be worth something one day.

The committee hasn’t specified a certain event yet. Since I’m gifted in so many areas, they plan to place me where I’m most needed at that time. Some of the events I’m up for are extended laundry cycling, extreme carpooling, and synchronized meal prep. Hold the accolades, please. I’m humbled and honored to represent our fine country in this way.

It’s taken years of training, but it’s been worth every folded towel that never made it to the cabinet, every stack of clean underwear that got pushed onto the floor instead of placed in the drawer, every dish that ended up dried and crusty on my teenager’s bedside table after a midnight snack. It’s all been a labor of love. Sure, there were times I wanted to give up, but perseverance and hard work have gotten me where I am today—standing in my laundry room with a pile of who-knows-if-they’re-clean “dirty” laundry I picked up off my kids’ floors.

During the next couple of years, there will be many more hours of practice. Hopefully it will all pay off in the end, in the form of some sweet endorsement gigs. I’ll take a lifetime supply of Subway sandwiches and a Mustang convertible, please. Candy-apple red.

Even sweeter than those deals, though, is the sweetest endorsement of all. I have kids I’m proud of. They’re kind and compassionate, creative and witty, and I know I’m not supposed to think this out loud, but they’re really good looking. They’re not perfect by any means—just look at the tree from which they fell—but all in all, they’re beautiful people who make this world a softer, gentler, safer place for everyone who knows them. That delights my heart and makes me smile all the way to my toes.

Honestly, that must be why God hangs in there with me, as a coach, a mentor, a friend. I’m stubborn. I’m chaotic and forgetful and overly sensitive. But He never gives up on me, because He has hopes that one day I will be like Him.

This life we’re living is really just a training ground, a practice session for the big event. It can be long and hard, sweaty and exhausting. But if we persevere, if we press on, we will eventually win the prize. And really, that’s my goal. One day I want to stand on the podium, before God, as He places a medal around my neck and says “Well done.” 

Renae Brumbaugh Green is a bestselling author and award-winning humor columnist. She lives in Stephenville with her handsome, country-boy husband, nearly-perfect children, and far too many animals. Connect with Renae at www.RenaeBrumbaugh.com.