Let me start by saying, I love my kids. As far as offspring go, they are two of the best I’ve ever run across. They make good grades. They (mostly) stay out of trouble. Neither of them has ever had his or her face plastered on a Wanted poster. And most adults actually like them. Overall, they do a great job of making me look like I have better parenting skills than I do. But although they’re both top-of-the-line brag-worthy adolescents, they exhaust me.

Wear. Me. Out.

There’s a reason people should have their kids when they’re young.

For starters, they both have Ever-Ready batteries, while I usually run like the original Model T: slow-starting, slow-moving, and quick to lose fuel. It’s hard to be Cool Mom when you have to tell them no, you don’t want to watch a movie at this late hour, only to realize it’s not even 8 p.m.

Then there’s the whole technology thing. I have become the old lady who can’t remember her password. Fortunately my kids have all my passwords memorized, from all the times I’ve called and asked them to help me get back into my iTunes account.

They don’t like my music. When I drop my son off at school, he turns my classical music CD off so the guys won’t think he’s a sissy. And I don’t like their music much, either. I mean, how many I-can’t-stand-my-ex-boyfriend songs can Taylor write?

I will never understand the need for thousands of selfies with duck lips, posted to social media with an inspirational quote. The whole SnapChat thing makes my head spin. And something called Vine? I thought a vine was a plant that climbed the side of my house and gave it a Victorian feel.

So. Very. Confused.

It makes me feel ancient and obsolete.

But somehow, in spite of my lack of anything in the realm of “hip” or “cool,” my kids still need me. The boy likes the way I make his peanut-butter-banana breakfast smoothie, served in a wine glass with a strawberry garnish and a straw. Apparently, nobody can work a blender like mom.

And the girl called me from college the other day to ask what kind of flour she was supposed to buy, because there are “so many choices,” and she just wanted to make homemade macaroni and cheese. We decided all-purpose would suit her needs just fine. 

I may be outdated, but nothing will ever change the fact that moms are timeless. No matter how old we get, or how old our kids get, they still need us. We may not have all the passwords, but we have wisdom. We have acceptance. We have unconditional love.

I still need my mom, perhaps more now than I did when I was a teen. Or at least, I’m more aware of how much I need her, and more appreciative.

Many people see God as outdated, and His Word as archaic. But God is timeless, and His wisdom is ageless. He knows me better than anyone, and He loves me unconditionally. When the rest of the world makes me feel like a has-been, He thinks I’m amazing, and He roots for me to succeed. He may not agree with all my choices, but He understands me and accepts me in spite of them. The older I get, the more appreciative I become of His unchanging nature and everlasting love. 

And perhaps the most impressive thing of all—He knows how to do SnapChat.

Renae Brumbaugh Green is a bestselling author and award-winning humor columnist. She lives in Stephenville with her handsome, country-boy husband, nearly-perfect children, and far too many animals. Connect with Renae at www.RenaeBrumbaugh.com.