BUPGEPS. Ever had one? I’d just about bet anyone reading this installment that they have, were I a gambler. Now, they may not have KNOWN they were eating one. You see, a BUPGEP is what you might find on the marquis at a McDonald’s when there’s a shortage of “R”s. There was a shortage like that a couple of years ago in Hearne. So, “P”s were just stuck in the place of the “R”s. And the sign read, “Try our NEW Black Angus BUPGEPS”. The sign certainly got MY attention.

I had already passed through Hearne a few miles back en route back to Glen Rose. I called my brother, Charles, (He’s been through Hearne lots of times.) to share my “funny” find. As we laughed, I told Charles I wish I’d have thought to slow down, go through the drive-through, and order a “BUPGEP”- just to see what that’d say. But I wasn’t goin’ to turn around and go back. Then I had a thought.

I called directory assistance and got the number for the McDonald’s there in Hearne. I rang it. A young lady politely answered, “Thank you for calling McDonald’s. How may I help you?”

Let the fun begin!

“Yes, ma’am,” I said in my older-man voice, “My wife and I are gonna be stayin’ out here in a motel on 79, and we’s about to go find some’in to eat. We passed by y’all’s place, and was just curious - What’s a BUPGEP?”

“I don’t know,” she replied.

I said, “Well, ma’am, you oughtta know. Y’all sell ‘em right there at your business.”

“No, sir - I don’t think we do,” she countered.

“Ma’am,” I said. “It says y’all have the things out there in front on the big sign. We just saw it!”

“Would you like to speak to my manager?”

“Yes, ma’am - I b’lieve I would!”

“May I help you?” asked the first in command.

“Just tryin’ to find out what a BUPGEP is,” I stated.

“I’m not sure, sir,” was the polite response.

I said, “Ma’am, out there in front on the big sign it plainly indicates that y’all do, in fact, sell BUPGEPS!”

“Sir, would you like to hold on while I go out and look at the sign?”

“Yes, ma’am - I b’lieve I would!”

She laid the phone down, and left me hangin’ for just a few seconds. She picked it back up and very politely and businesslike said, “I’m sorry, sir. It’s supposed to say ‘BURGERS.’ ”

I thanked her and disconnected from the call.

A few weeks later I went through Hearne again. I studied the sign, knowing it would surely be correct now. I was wrong. Seems they got some more “R”s, but now there was a shortage of “E”s.

Now the sign read, “Try our NFW Black Angus BURGERS”.

Life IS an adventure. I’m livin’ it up!!!

Randy McLelland, a.k.a. Randy Mac, is senior pastor of Cornerstone Christian Fellowship Church on FM 202. He has played the role of Grandpa in "The Promise" and, through his “Livin' It Up” ministries, is a motivational speaker and Christian entertainer.